those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You've changed since you got that strap on
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
