I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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