He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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