drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
