i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
