I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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