We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
pop tarts are not kleenex
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
