you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
