There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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