I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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