Please don't use social media to get back at me.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
