no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I could fuck to npr.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
