If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
