Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i think my cat just said my name.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
he high fived his dick after we had sex
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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