Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
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