you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
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we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
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eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame