its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground