Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
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I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
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I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again