Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
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If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.