my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
