Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
