What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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