I'm gonna have a badass scar
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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