just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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