If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
