So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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