What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
