is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
