I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
