Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i was born a porn star she said
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
