Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
