She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
A bitchslap is in order.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
