butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
