oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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