When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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