Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
