lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
