is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
