Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
