What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just want to make out with him forever
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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