Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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