So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
