ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize