Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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