Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
