I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
