Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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