i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
