dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
