if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
