I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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