You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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