A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
