4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
