You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize