How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
