so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
