we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
