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Fuck
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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