accomplished twins. life is a go
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
