Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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