you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
