he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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