I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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