even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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