Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
