I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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